49 more

Today, I decided to write 49 more letters.  Well, because, next week, I turn 49, and I’ve decided to embrace my age, much like my kids.

Because an entire year has gone by, and I’m running around my life with a list in my head, of all the people I am grateful for. Carrying it with me everywhere with good intent.

I’ve thought….tonight will be the night, when I put the kids to bed…I’ll write that letter. 
Then I lie in bed and think….. tomorrow will be the day, during lunch, I’ll just write the letter.
I blink and the week is gone…. so maybe Saturday morning will be a better time, I’ll get up before the kids, and just write the letter. But the kids get up before me, and we’re smack dab in the middle of it!
So, Sunday night. That’s it. That will work.  When everyone is getting ready for the week, I’ll tuck away in the office and write the letter in between making the family calendar, returning a few work emails and ordering that birthday present for….

The weeks have passed with good intention sweeping by like the second hand on a watch.

 
There is no letter. Only good intent.

Lucky for me, I still remember the words from a wise barista. Structure is important.  So I decide to write 49 more. 49more letters.  Structure is all I need.  However, there’s still a problem.

The paper is blank.
Blank.
Still Blank.

Wait, look who’s here?  Well hey there doubting Thomas!

I should be able to do this. Just write a letter. What is wrong with me. Excuses show up, reasons to just wait for later.  Maybe after yoga, then it will be the right time.

Yoga!  That’s it!

Practice.

It’s not yoga completion.  It’s a practice.

Writing letters is a practice. Gratitude is a practice, not a destination.

That small change in perspective, small shift was all it took to write my first letter, again!

One down, 48 to go.