I just spent 45 minutes running listening to this song over and over. It’s a song I listen to when I feel like the worlds really big, and I’m feeling small. Before you go any further, take 3 minutes, and just Listen.

I spent the weekend with 60 kids at camp.

Every one of them has experienced a loss recently…a mom, a dad, a sibling, a grandparent…  This is my second year, and it still made me question my beliefs…. a lot.  Why these kids, so young and full of life, have this big crap to deal with.

Friday night

I wondered if I could deal with it….

We had the biggest bundle of pent up energy from 60 kids I had ever seen in my life.  They were all over the place, figuratively speaking. Our group was more like a gymnastics session and the campfire was more like a round up. By 11:00, we were beat, and questioning if this weekend was going to work. 

I thought…”I can’t do this…”

Then I remembered.  Alan
Alan and I were in a workshop together once. I had already determined he was the weakest person in the group. So, when we had to do an activity that involved us standing in a big circle, arms forming a T, finger tips touching, and Alan stood next to me I thought…I can’t do this for him too.

The instructions were no talking, stand as long as you can and everyone makes it.  When Alan’s hands started to drop, I swung my head around, made eye contact and willed his arms back up.  It seemed like I did this a thousand times…and I was getting tired.

Someone realized the instructions said no talking…not no singing, and began to sing.  That helped for a while, and then my arms started to get tired….and Alan looked at me, and started to sing. Alan was a beautiful piano player, but he couldn’t sing….the most beautiful sounds came out and my arms lifted.

I didn’t have to do it alone….

I could get support. It remains one of my biggest lessons in life…

I couldn’t do it alone, but together, with the other 29 volunteers, we did….

There’s an activity that we do that involves gluing a broken plate back together, then decorating in memory of their loved one. It’s a tough activity…

hot glue gun + broken plates with sharp pieces + 9 year olds= potential for anything to happen. 

But there’s something strangely magical that happens for the kids…and us too.
It’s a reminder.

We all have wounds, some deeper than others. Wounds that when taken care of, heal and leave a scar. A scar that over time, softens, yet is always a part of us…we keep going.

60 kids & 30 volunteers showed up on Friday.  90 people emerged on Sunday…and in the words of Israel Kamakawiwo “I see friends shaking hands saying, “how do you do? They’re really saying, I…I love you.

90 of us….a little more healed.

Special thanks to the Moyer Foundation for sponsoring Camp Erin & the Wise Women from Fairview Youth Grief Serviceswho put it all together…Jenny, Lisa, Katie & BJ.

 

 

The world lost 2 amazing people last week

Al ‘Doc’ Hixon & Edna Saffy didn’t know each other. Or at least, I don’t think they did.  Edna lived in Jacksonville, FL….Doc lived in Daytona Beach, Florida. They lived about an hour and a half apart. As it turns out,

it doesn’t matter where you live, you can make a mark on the world

Al Hixon lived a remarkable 92 years. He is survived by his wife, Martha, a bunch of children, grandchildren & great-grandchildren. Al did a lot of amazing stuff. Read the article his daughter Kathy wrote and you’ll see…What I remember most about Al was his heart. I’m not sure, I’ve ever met anyone with a kinder heart than Al. When I was a kid, and we stayed over at the Hixon’s, I always felt safe. Not because the doors were locked, I doubt they were back then. It was the love in that house, and from Al and Martha…..

Dr. Edna Saffy lived 75 amazing years. She is survived by her husband Grady and her brother Ralph. Edna was an activist. With the kind of courage and strength that could fall the biggest giant.  Edna fought for human rights. All human rights, which is what made Edna a pure gift to the world. She believed, and through her actions, made sure every voice was heard, in a city that didn’t always appreciate difference. That never stopped Edna.

Al & Edna made a difference in the world.

The world where they lived, in the city where they lived, in the community they loved. 
They were both a gift to the world and will be missed.
Peace be with you both~

Dear Lizard Brain,
You lose this time. I just sent my manuscript to my editor. I admit, I sat for a long time thinking about hitting the send button. You tried.  You tried hard to give me a multitude of reasons why I shouldn’t send it. “it’s too short”, “really, you’re not a writer”, “what if she thinks I’m a wacko?”, “what if it’s just pure crap”. I ignored you instead. I hit send, and I’m still here. So…go back to sleep lizard brain, until I really need you….cheers, Missy

What’s a lizard brain?

It’s a small part of our brain, at the base of our skull. It’s real, and its sole purpose is to help us survive. That was a really important part of the brain at a point in our evolution. It’s really important, if say, you are in a tornado, or lost in the woods. Or maybe you need to run really fast and get away from a bear. Now, those are circumstances that require survival.  But, how often do those happen? Once in a lifetime?

Today however, the lizard brain hovers quietly, waiting to be needed.  The problem is what the Lizard brain considers ‘needed’ and you consider ‘needed’ are a very different beast.  Who knew that writing a letter would be a threat to the lizard brain.

Lizard’s love fear

That’s because, Lizards have a keen sense of smell.  They and can sniff out fear, even before you realize it.  Fears that quite possibly have been lingering with us, tucked away in our subconscious since childhood.  Fear of being rejected, fear of being laughed at or maybe being ‘the last one picked’ for the kickball team.

When I tell someone my story about 50 letters the typical response is at first positive, then immediately, the person who start a list of reasons why they couldn’t write a letter.  “What will they think?”, “If I write mom, I have to write dad,”“they probably won’t remember me,” “I don’t even know where they live now” “what if they think it’s silly”.  If any of these sound familiar, keep reading.

When I started holding small informal stitched gatherings, I would begin by telling my story, and then give people a blank piece of paper, a pen and a stamped envelope.  Everything they needed. Inevitably, there would be at least 1 person, who would use their paper to start a list of people they would write to. Several others would sit there, restlessly contemplating their escape from the room and at the right moment close their book and walk away. 

Fear makes a Lizard Brain very happy. 

Fear of rejection. Fear of being different. Fear of being laughed at. Fear of you fill in the blank.

Today, in a moment, I stared down the lizard brain, and won.  I’ll take that small victory…

Want to learn more about lizard brain?  Pick up Seth Godin’s latest book Linchpin It’s a great read….

 

Sanu Patel-Zellinger!
She is now owns an advance copy of Delivering Happiness!

Here was her response, that got THE biggest laugh from kids:

I want to read Delivering Happiness because……..I want to learn how to make a hippopotamus laugh.

 

What can we learn from Sanu?

Read the question:
I got some very intellectual responses. Great if it’s your dissertation for your MBA. Not so much if you are making a kid laugh!

Go head and be yourself:
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken” Oscar Wilde

That’s what Tony Hsieh did…and it worked for him.

 

 

Sometimes, I think there is a universal concept that floats just above the clouds all around the world.
Sometimes, if you are tall enough, not in height, but in spirit, I think you can read the message.

I think Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos got the message

IF you find people that are Passionate. IF you take care of People. PROFITS follow.

His new book, Delivering Happiness is a great story. It’s Tony’s story, and…

Wait, you don’t have the book yet?

Because it’s not released until June 7!!!!

BUT, you could win an advanced copy!

(I’ve read it and it’s worth it!!)

It’s easy.
1. Finish this sentence “I want to read Delivering Happiness because……..
2. Email it to (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)by May 6, 2010.
3. The finalist will be selected based on the amount of laughter when read to a 4 & 7 year old, and your book mailed to you.
4. The final response will be posted on May 10, 2010

Have fun!!!